|Forget makeup and bras they just aren't going to happen. Sorry.|
Moving on. Since the first trimester is this cloaked-in-mystery time in a couples life, I figured I would treat everyone to a recap of the last 14 weeks.
It mostly consisted of one: find out about pregnancy and two: hold breath for 12-14 weeks.
I will indulge those who are a bit more curious. I asked as many women as I could before I got pregnant what it felt like to be pregnant. I never got a satisfactory answer and now I know why. I can honestly say, as a pregnant woman, I feel like myself but tired and nauseous. Also, I spend an unusual amount of time just trying to figure out how I actually feel. Is it gas? Am I nauseous or is that hunger? It is a strange feeling not understanding what my body is saying anymore. Luckily, the nauseous portion is starting to take a back seat and I'm understanding my body again (turns out, it's just always hunger).
When it comes to the spectrum of world's worst pregnancy to the easiest and best, I seem to fall somewhere in the middle but closer to the good end. Yes, I have been consistently nauseous but I've only lost my cookies a couple times, and only at night. That is a win in my book! So, for now (I have a whole lot of pregnancy left to go through) I am extremely grateful to be pregnant and feeling pretty darn good (and tired). I'm hoping that soon I will "feel pregnant," to have it hit me that we are about to have a child, or you know, be parents. I am also hoping that this "pregnant feeling" will be just like I always imagined. I'm sure you all think it's the same feeling, the uterus glowing with new life and I don't know...maybe a mythical unicorn horn? A girl can dream.
|Thank you Scrubs for perfectly capturing how I see pregnancy.|
Fun Fact: I had a 30 second panic attack as I sat at the dinner table feeling like a stuffed sausage, realizing this baby is only going to get bigger. I burst out saying "Oh God, where is it all going to go! There isn't any room left!!" I was convinced a human is not prepared to grow another human any bigger than the size of a large lemon (baby's current estimated size). But, after I said it I remembered my very beautiful, strong, mommy friend was in the process of giving birth to her second baby. Yup, people, she has done this twice!! I don't know how but I am starting to realize that my body is going to show me. Not going to lie--I'm a little afraid. Luckily I have an amazing circle of mommy friends that laugh mercilessly at me as they nod in agreements with my discomforts.
Another fun fact? All pregnancies are exactly the same - in only two ways. You grow a human and you birth a human. Every other aspect is vastly different from woman to woman. Even all of my blessed "easy pregnancy" moms have varied stories from start to finish. Want to hear some of my funky pregnancy stuff? Ok, here is the short list of stuff that stumped my Doc.
1. I started showing much earlier than I ever thought possible. At eight weeks my clothes stopped fitting, I only looked like I ate a large burrito but to me it felt immensely different from my everyday life. The bump wasn't bloat, it was there day and night and only got bigger. At 14 weeks, maternity pants became a must. I thought momentarily about joining a nudist colony; it still isn't entirely off the table.
2. I get a ridiculous twitch in my uterus. No matter how much water I chug or how many bananas I take down, I still get the twitch. It is a muscle spasm that is strong enough to make me jump. My Dr. has no idea why it happens. So, I just drink more water and lay down until it's over.
3. Lets talk TMI. At 10 weeks my boob sprung a leak. Why yes my dear friends, that IS early. Very early. My Dr. just laughed at me and said, "well, welcome to pregnancy." Oh, and no one told me so I'm going to tell you (if you aren't one of my well informed mommy friends) colostrum (early sort of breast milk) is OILY. It doesn't dry people! And it doesn't wash out. The stuff leaked through a bra and my tank top while at work. Luckily it didn't soak through my dress. Don't worry, it was funny and the next day I switched to soft stretchy forgiving maternity bras. No more leaks! That horrible bra that could milk a cow? I burned it.
|I sprung a leak.|
The terrifying: After we found out about Baby P, we wanted to scream it from the rooftops. We let our parents in on the info right away but because the second line was so light we thought it best to tell siblings etc. after the Dr. confirmed the pregnancy. Then, at the delicate point of week five, we spent six hours in the emergency room with a "threatened miscarriage." That scary, horrible name is what they title ANY woman that shows up with bleeding during pregnancy. I'm pretty sure that whole day was our worst nightmare. We completely lost the desire to tell anyone about the baby, and just wanted to sit quietly until the first trimester was over. Luckily, just past six weeks I went to my regular appointment and there was baby. Baby wasn't just growing, baby had a heart beat and was measuring a few days ahead. I have never been so happy. It was like finding out I was pregnant all over again and I could breathe a little. (Side note, the risk of miscarriage drops dramatically once you see the heartbeat)
If you thought that was the worst of it, I'm sorry. It wasn't. I've really taken to napping after work and one dreamy afternoon I received a phone call from a mystery number. I assumed it was someone calling to tell me I won a cruise. Yay (sarcasm). I'm not sure why I answered the call but I did. It was a woman's voice, she said "You tested positive for cystic fibrosis; you are a carrier and this puts your baby at risk for having the disease." I immediately thought, oh, sorry lady, you have the wrong number. So, when she asked if I had any questions I said no, we hung up and I went back to sleep. Andy woke me up when he got home and then it all hit me. That was my Dr. and she was giving me the results of one of the many blood tests they ran. I told Andy what she said and again we were in a numb silence. A few days later I got a call from genetics to set up counseling and testing for Andy. They explained that if Andy wasn't a carrier then the baby wouldn't have the disease so Andy had a simple blood test and a few weeks later, the results were in. Andy and his super genes is NOT a carrier!!! Knowing our child won't have to live daily with such a horrible disease is such a relief. We still have to wait for the rest of the genetics tests to come back but having one ruled out is fantastic.
As I bid adieu to the first trimester I am awash with gratitude to have made it this far, excited for the weeks to come, and absolutely over the moon that I have so many wonderful people in my life to share this with. I do have a few final parting thoughts. First I would like to say to the aforementioned circle of mommy friends (or in other words, life warriors) please bestow your knowledge upon me. I am not worthy and mostly confused. Finally, that fun little bump of magic I have? Lets just say I love my belly rubbed, I always have and if my friends and family want to enjoy my glowing unicorn having bump, by all means my lovely people, enjoy! We'll see how I feel about strangers.